What's My Age Again?

What's My Age Again?
Age differences are a touchy subject.

Sam: I think it's a personal decision, one way or the other... I mean, who are we to tell some guy that his girlfriend is too young for him? Or vice versa.

I feel like there are certain ground rules, though. The age difference between one person being in high school and one person being in college is a perfectly fine, I feel, as long as there isn't over a 2 year age difference. A junior in high school with a freshman in college. A senior with a sophomore. When the gap grows... the two are just in different places in their lives. Another ground rule: dating with a 4+ year gap is generally a bad idea when one of the pair isn't old enough to drink and the other is. There is something about the age of 21... like you're finally a full adult and can do whatever you want.

Case and point of why I think 4+ age gap and one in high school, one in college is a bad idea: I was 17 and dating a 21 year old for a little over two months. He got so much more serious about the relationship so much quicker than I did, and talked about marriage and kids... I WAS 17! All I cared about was the prom dress I had yet to buy. However, now that I'm older, age doesn't feel like anything more than a number. Bring on the older guys!

Allison: I think dating an older man is just weird. I have multiple 21-year old friends dating guys in the 30's. While it might seem cool, the reality is that you're in two different stages of life. My friends are young, outgoing, and still in college. They have their whole lives ahead of them. These guys are looking to settle down, get married, have kids. When you're young, you don't know what you want with your life yet. Dating someone that much older just doesn't make sense. Also, if you think about it in reverse, the 30 year old guy dating the 21 year old girl is just a creeper! But when you're older, I think it's more do-able. When people meet in their 30's or 40's and date someone older, that's fine. They're both mature enough to handle the age difference, and both in similar stages of life where they can settle down. And while I would just love to be dating Johnny Depp right now, we both know it just wouldn't work out.


Samantha: I used to be the girl who said EWWW! to dating older guys. I never dated anyone younger than me and never dated anyone over 2 years older than me. That was until I met my boyfriend. I met him when I was just about to turn 20 and he was about to turn 27. At first, I didn't want to even think of starting anything with him because of his age, but we ended up hanging out because our best friends were dating. The more I got to know him, the more his age didn't matter. And the same wen for him since I was younger. I think us hanging out for so long before we actually started dating made our relationship stronger because we got to know each other Samantha and Ryan and not for our age.



For a man's perspective on dating older women, check out the article titled "Age Ain't Nothing But A Number" in the July 2006 issue of Essence magazine.